Safe passage to the Third Round of World Cup Qualifying was achieved on Tuesday night, but once more fans were left wondering what the point of it all is.
At the start of October, 2021, the 25th installment of the James Bond franchise released in theatres worldwide after an interminable wait through the outbreak of a global pandemic.
‘No Time to Die’ is a fitting send-off for actor Daniel Craig, who has played the iconic MI6 agent on-screen since 2006. While spoilers will be avoided in this, there is a line from the end, read by Ralph Fiennes’ M, that floated into memory during the course of a second-half where Nigeria shelled up against the assault of visitors Cape Verde at the Teslim Balogun Stadium.
“The proper function of man is to live, not to exist,” the secret service head said. “I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”
This excerpt, taken out of the Ian Fleming novel ‘You Only Live Twice’, is part of a larger work by American author Jack London that exhorts the reader to consider the ultimate futility of a life burdened by caution. What is the point of it all anyway? As the Valyrians say, “Valar Moghulis”, which loosely translates in Yoruba to: “eyan le Ku any f–king time.”
Love him or hate him, the appointment of Gernot Rohr to the Nigeria national team job has ushered in a new age – that of the utilitarian. It is one which rails against pretensions of beauty and aesthetics, which worships at the altar of function over form, and which glorifies qualification as an end in itself, rather than what it actually is: merely a ticket to the next stop.
While, for most, this elevation of practicality above all else is perfectly acceptable, it necessarily ignores the entire point of football, and of entertainment more generally. There is a reason the longest-running, most successful movie franchises are hinged on the fantastical; why no one – except those in the radical fringes of the political Left – wonders about the implication of a super-spy, for whom physical health checks would be routine, bedding every woman he encounters with little care about venereal disease.
That reason is simple: we seek entertainment because we want to live, rather than simply exist. We want to win as well, sure. But, if we are honest, for the average person, the emotion that winning by itself inspires has a far shorter life span than the feeling of sheer exaltation that we get from being thrilled. There is no point living if you cannot feel alive.
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Nigeria will never win the World Cup. There is simply too much of a gap to make up to Europe: economic resources, infrastructure, logistics, technical expertise, commonsense; take your pick. However, the Super Eagles remain one of Africa’s strongest sides, and can (and should) be expected to, not just win, but dominate matches against nations of a humbler estate, in much the same way that European and South American sides regularly prey on them. Because for Nigeria, that is as good as it is likely going to get. It is the circle of life, the food chain, a delicate but necessary balance.
Instead, under Rohr we have come to accept the obversion of the logical order. The German has taught us all to prioritize the pursuit of the unattainable at the expense of the needful.
Now, do not misunderstand: Nigeria should absolutely be qualifying for the World Cup, regardless of its inability to win the whole thing, not least for the sake of the monetary rewards and the effect on the standing of their players at club level. You will find no affiliation to Galadima-ism here. However (and this is important), it is precisely because they will never win it that the manner in which that objective is achieved becomes important. That is the reason why the ‘how’ matters. Else, what even is the point, especially considering there is little transparency or oversight in terms of how the financial windfall from qualification is even allocated?
The Super Eagles ended the Second Round of CAF 2022 World Cup qualifying with four wins, a draw and a loss, a haul of 13 points that was enough to secure safe passage to the Third Round, where a playoff awaits. But there is no glory, and even fewer bragging rights, in beating Liberia, Central African Republic and – yes – even Cape Verde, for all that some liked to pretend the Blue Sharks are an elite footballing nation. The glory comes in asserting one’s place in the world and in leaving one’s mark upon it: caviar rather than offal, figs rather than kernels, memorable, cohesive performances instead of forgettable fare.
Instead, in being led by Rohr, Nigeria is less James Bond and more Moneypenny – the Lois Maxwell incarnation of the character. An officious pen pusher who is tidy, smiles when she should and collects a cheque every month. Moneypenny is the one who those with daring and a thirst for adventure pass on their way to their missions, occasionally stopping to flirt and tease a tryst while she pines for the excitement she does not have the gumption to explore.
On Tuesday, the Super Eagles needed a draw, and a draw they got. The job is done (for now). The most damning aspect of it is: that really is the most profound, insightful thing one could say about a needlessly difficult evening’s work under the Lagos lights.
